My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Randomize
