He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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