My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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