I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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