Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
