just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
