So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize