He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
