Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
