the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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