pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
