it wasn't lemon gatorade
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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