Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
