p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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