isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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