If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
