Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
