do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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