Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
