Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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