i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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