Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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