I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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