Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
