New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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