So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
