blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize