Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize