As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
