Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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