if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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