God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
