I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
