Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
