So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
