6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm really busy with my period
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