i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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