You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
