apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
