Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
