I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize