Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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