I just threw up on my dentist
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize