How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
