Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sext me about skeletons
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
