Moan for me like Helen Keller
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
