discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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