We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
