Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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