She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
