whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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