i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
