i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
