my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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