But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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