I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
