I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
