ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
