someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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