you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
