C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My ass is underappreciated
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
