idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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