last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
