wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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