pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
