hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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